Confuse

I get it. U hated me ... Then why are u still denying saying that u doesn't hate me when u really did hate me. The one who started the problem was me. Second is her. U r just an innocent guy who doesn't know what is happening around the world. U choose to believe her not me. Why r u so innocent. Didn't I tell u not to trust ppl so much ?? I guess I am the one who spoil u. I make u trust me and thn like what u say " I make use of u " which is not true at all ... I swear I didn't use u. I love u with all my heart. I didn't control u. All of this was coz I love u ... I get jealous I love u ... I control u coz I wanted to be the first in ur life .. I wanted to be the girl u love and only u care about. U know I like to think too much. I am scared ppl might take u away from me that is why I " control " u. Now there is someone who is taking u away from me. I know that and I can't do anything coz u don't believe in me anymore. U believe her. U choose to believe her lies. Maybe she is the one who told u I " use " u. But why do u believe her ?? What did I do to make u think I " use " u. Am I that bad ?? And ya. U r happy without me .. So now what am I going to do ?? Die ?? If I die will u believe I really did love u not using u ?? Do u know I am holding on ?? I am trying to be strong for now so that I won't fail my exam ?? After my exam I will totally break down I swear. Because of exam I am holding on and being strong. It is not coz I can live without u. I miss u everyday every sec. What must I do so that u will believe me agn ?? Do I look that bad in ur eye ?? I wanted to tell u all this but u won't bother to listen anyway ....