School

School was super boring :( I went to school to see someone but it is too boring :( it feels like graduation day is nth at all. Still got school after graduation day -.- I wonder why do they even call it a graduation day. Sucks. 

Gone ..

Had a fun chat with my twinnie like always and there is this boy who texting me now adays and ya he is really funny. He make me happy and he will make me laugh even in public hahah. He cheer me up since he knew what exactly happened between me and my ex. He is really good in cheering people up hahah ... 

I dd had a bad time today coz of my friend. She said as if everything was my fault so I got angry and I kind of like scold her. And I knew I was wrong. She is telling me all that just because she doesn't want me to get into trouble and  I scolded her. But people can't understand how much bullshit I went through during this 2 years. When I got together with my ex , everyone in class was like scolding me because one of my best friend liked him. I knew it and I still got together with him so everyone was like saying " su betray her " " how can he do that " " she is a bitch " and many more insults. I took it bravely ... Because I don't wanna leave him. I didn't even tell him all this because I don't want him to feel stress ... So it's like I went through all this bullshits by myself and when things finally get okay , he left me ... He may have stress when being with me. But , I don't believe that is worse than the stress I have been through because of him ? Now he is one of the people who is insulting me. People change. .. He told me he love me and he wanna Marry me. I guess I am so stupid enough to actually believed all that. Now we r over. I cried and beg for him to come back. But he went further away from me. I don't wanna stop our conversation so everyday I make the effort to text when he replied me one word ans and telling people I still controlling him. So ya. Alright. I stop texting him. I deleted all our pic and text. Gone. Everything gone. We r stranger now. U even went out with a girl. Wah. Improvement huh .... Good luck than. Because that girl attitude is worse thn mine. If u two get tgt , I really wish u both good luck :) 

Revenge

So , this small girl said that he making her close to her coz she want to revenge me back. And when I heard tht I laugh my ass out!! Because , to take revenge back on the person , u need to be much more better than the person u want to take revenge. And oh please , I am not saying I am perfect but ... Hahahah. U are worse than me. And u think u can take revenge , if only he is stupid enough. It shows clearly that he doesn't want to entertain u small girl !! I think u need to know how take revenge before u even take one. Want me teach u ?? Hahah I will teach u free. :). Really childish mind. REALLY. 

Had a fun study date with my so called daughter !! Hahaha. We didn't even study !!! Talked about our life and past life since we got so many things to catch up on each other. Hahha really had fun with her omg !!! And yes !!! The stitch !! I LOVE STITCH HAHAHAH 

Memories memories memories ... Why did I even have so much memories with him , everywhere .... 

And ya ... Memories came back to me ....   So I wanted to go out so badly to make myself forget .. None of my freinds are free ... End up being alone . Decided to watch movie online , get scolded by my parents ... I wonder " what is he doing now ? Is he missing me ?? " 0.0000001% is missing me when 99.99999% has totally forgetten about me ... Why ?? We spend so much time together ... Why so easy to forget? People tell me " he look like he move on already ". I know. I know he move on , I want to too. But I am stuck in the past still .. Only 50% of me has move on. Laughing an joking around with people like I am happy but only I myself know the real feeling of me. I still miss him .. When people call him and ask help , I wish I can call and ask him to help me too .. But he didn't come to me .. He go to other girls ... I am still loving u baby .. Pls look back once and think back of the memories we spend together ... Maybe u will want to come back to me .. If only 5% of u care about me , I am happy. I just need u care for me like how u use to .... Love u so much ... 

Friends

20th September : thx to those stupid frens in class with me , I was able to forget my stress and be crazy with them. They make me laugh and go crazy which is a good things. There are there for me when I need them the most ... I can't believe I didn't talk to them coz of tht someone.... I feel sorry to them. But even after I betray them , they still stay with me and make me happy when I need them the most. I love u all friends. Thx for being there for me and making me happy 

Guys

Guys are all the same I guess .... I care and got feelings for guys who DOSENT care abt me .. I don't like those  who care about me and put me in first everytime. Weird .. Ya. U told me u love me. But I know u don't love me. U r just playing with me or this feeling might be awhile only ... I know it only last awhile ... I knew it and I still love u ... Why ?? Guys are always like tht ?? Why do u even fall in love with a guy who don't care abt me 

Idk why I am feeling like this again !! It's sucks. For a while u make me laugh make me love u. But after all that , u left me.... Why everyone like to leave me alone ... Making me feel pain ?? I hate this feeling .... SUCKS !!! 

Used

I dw to get used anymore and getting heartbroken agn ... Pls don't hurt me anymore ... Once is enough. I don't need an another person coming into my life and use me again .. I am not a toy. I have a feeling too ... Pls .. Pls pls ... IDW get used anymore ... Pls leave me alone if u r not serious ... I have no time for ur childish game ... 

Did so badly for my n Lvl ss paper :( Haiss. I should get ready to go ite alr ... Studies so much and in the end what I studied didn't came out -.- wasted and regret -.- should study from the start of the year -.- now is too late to turn back ... BUT thx to someone that make me happy today :D now I am just gonna study hard for my other sub ... Hope can go sec5 ATLEAST .... 

Had my first n Lvl paper today and it was .... Idk what to say .... Until now I don't feel that n Lvl is here. Wtf is wrong with me ? I should have study and do well for my n Lvl so that I can hav a happy holiday ... Now it's too late OMG ..... I do things without using my brain and end up getting regret ... I really need to change ... 

N Lvl !!

I am not ready for n Lvl yet how ?? :( Haiss. I don't feel like I am taking n Lvl this year ... I just enjoy myself for the holiday and now I am too late to study for my N Lvl -.-  I should hav studied earlier :( 

FUN !!

Had fun with this crazy fren of mine. She is sick actually. But because I tell her I no mood , she went out with me and cheer me up. SO TOUCHED !!! Very happy to have a friend like her !!!! How I wish I hav a sister like her. U can vent all ur anger and tell everything to her and she will understand how u feel and alw cheer me up. Love u la twinnie 😘😘😘😘

Boring ...

No plan of going out today. Stuck at home and trying to study for my N Lvl but nth went inside my head. I am just too hyper and having shopping mood what should I do ?!?!? :( I enjoy my life now .. YOLO. I should be happy instead of being sad. Nothing last forever. That's true. I am too busy to care for people who insult me and talk bad abt me. "MOVE ON SU. U can do it " kept telling myself and Tadah !!! Now I am happy with my life. I enjoy being single. Making new friends and hanging out with them. !!!! Meeting my friends everyday without caring what someone will say and without giving my precious time to someone who doesn't love me. Oh ya. Thx for the past u gave me. I enjoy it and I love it. And ya. U make me become strong .... Thx for that too. Now we r nth more thn classmate. I feel nth towards u. Thx for making me move on. And ya. Pls don't come beg me one day. Coz I am really disappointed in u 😊😊

Crazy

Meet van after my study date with ave. van also make me happy. She alw good in cheering me up. Ya. It is hard smiling without him with me ... And living in my own world .... But I find it good sometimes ... I hav no one to care when I wan to do something or talk to some guys. I no need care who will get jealous ... Being single is good thing I guess .... But thn. Ofcourse I still want him ..... Will love him forever and alw ..... 

I tot u might text me if I stop texting u ... But guess what ... Think I am the only one who is hurting and u r more happier coz I didn't text u .... R u happy ?? I wanna text u and talk like last time agn ... But ... It's impossible .... 

Where r u when I need u the most .... U just left me here like this ... Without looking back ..... I miss u so much .... I am dying .... 

I deleted our text ... Our photos .... And everything ... But I can't erase u from my heart and I can't erase our memories ... What must I do to make u get out from my mind ??? I am stuck in the past ..... I can't move on ...... 

Insult

I am a girl tht u spent ur 1 year plus with ar ... Can't believe u got the heart to insult me. Say I use u and all. Nice ... Thx for insulting me .... Thx for going around telling other ppl bad things abt me ... I tot u will never ever  do this to me .... Ya. My fault for trusting u so much ... Thx to u .. I learn not to trust ppl easily le 

6th sept

Today supposed to be 16 month Tgt with him .. Nev even text me already. Guess he has forgotten everything .... 

Life without u

Trying to live my life without u ... Guess now I am use to it .. Missing u everyday. Laughing and being happy with my fren and crying myself at night because I miss u so much ... Well .., Vanessa ask me out today since I was not in a good mood in the morning ... She give me the chocolate and I wasted both of the chocolate -.- she make me laugh like a mad girl and making me forget him for awhile. I guess I can never find a fren like her anywhere. She is the best to me. Always make me laugh with her stupid jokes and making me happy like a stupid girl. Haha. I never felt embarrassed to go out with her and with her cute childishness. Such a cute fren I hav !!! I thx god for giving me a friend like her but I blame god for letting me love life turn into like this ... But ya ... Like I say , I will learn how to live my life without him ...

Lifeless ....

I wanna go back to the time where I cry is only coz I can't get my sweet and forgetting all the sadness once I get the sweet and it only takes like 1 min to forget it. I also want to forget u ....  Didn't text u coz I tot u will realised tht u still need me and miss me ... But I am the one getting hurt in the end ..... What should I do ?? I just wan to die ....

Missing u so Much ......

Hi girl ;) why don't u scold me in face to face ?? Don't dare ?? :) oh thn u dare to scold me in ur OWN BLOG ?? Girl ar .. U younger thn me ar. Don't try to act big pls. U dont dare scold me face to face don't scold me in ur blog too. And u r at the fault ar. Don't act as if u r innocent. Coz u r not at all. Ur words are full of lies. Pls. Pls he truth for once I beg u

Do u still care abt me or do u not ?? I myself also dk already. I am confuse too. I keep changing my mind in order for me nt to be sad and now I am really confuse. Idk what I want now. Even though I still love u and want u , part of me is scared. Sometimes I think u will come back to me. Sometimes I think u r totally Gone. Sometimes I think u still love me and sometimes I think u hate me ... What r u actually ??

I wanna tell people how much u control me too .. Can I ?? Since u already told people I am controlling u and using u what. U r heartless ... Okay maybe u r not ... But that bitch make u become one. I am tired. Tired of crying over u for everyday when u didn't notice. Tired of not getting ur attention. Tired of seeing u laughing with other ppl. Tired of hearing u say u are happy without me ... Oh okay can. Since u r happy without me , I will leave u alone. It is hard for me but ya. For ur happiness I will do it for u ... U go be happy with other girls .. But do u know ?? No matter whose fault isit now , u will get revenge back ?? U will suffer like how I am suffering now. In future , the girl who u really love will do back the same thing to u. And tht time , u will realized how much did I hurt. And u will realized I am the only one who can love u so much ... But when u realized that , It might be the day I finally forgotten abt you / us / our memories ... But will the day come ?? Until now I can't seem to hate u ... Or just treat u as a classmate .. I can't ...